To say that the quality in South Park games over the years has been mixed is an understatement.
For years, people have lamented how horrible the Acclaim games used to be, but then applaud the current state of the games, namely with the brilliant RPG’s The Fractured But Whole and The Stick of Truth. It almost looked like the series was going to stay the course, and keep rebounding from the nightmares we dealt with in the 90s and early 2000s.
But then comes Snow Day!, a game that reminds us that all the promise in the world doesn’t mean anything if the end product isn’t up to snuff. It’s not as horrid as South Park Rally thankfully, but it fails to live up to the promise of the previous adventures. Presentation problems, connectivity issues and poorly realized combat keep this journey buried in the avalanche.
Who Will Rule the Neighborhood?
The game follows the events of Fractured, with an epic snowstorm resulting in everything being covered in white. Oh, and school being cancelled, of course. That pushes Cartman to once again ruling the land and recruiting your player – the “New Kid” – to complete missions alongside your team.
Which sounds great. And, honestly, if we could’ve gotten a South Park version of Helldivers II with Cartman cursing as huge snow bombs are dropped, that would have been insane. Instead, however, we’re left with a mess.
Close-range combat is repetitive for the most part, and long-range attacks are barely feasible, as they miss their targets half the time. Also, the arrow shooting system has its issues, mainly using the same button to aim and shoot. Ask Turok, that’s not how things work.
Not to mention that fighting multiple enemies is a pain, as you’re hit from all sides without any sort of lock-on benefit. That would’ve done a world of good, considering how quickly you lose health. Oof.
There’s also the repetitive nature of the missions. Whereas the previous RPG’s had a ton of variety, this is just “beat up the kids and take this” style of missions, with very little to offer outside of that. You can level up with new cards and what-not, but if the game’s playing and progressing like mud, it’s pretty pointless.
What’s more, the game has technical issues. The Nintendo Switch version is particular locks up like crazy, forcing a hard reset. This is after we downloaded the latest available patch for the game, and still kept having the problem. This will likely frustrate many.
The game’s a complete frustration in single player, as your AI bots act like idiots, running around like they don’t know what to do. As for multiplayer, it’s okay, but it takes forever to connect to a session, and even then, there’s so much struggle involved that a hard reset is sometimes required.
Overall, there’s just too much negativity to overcome here, mainly with technical problems, poor gameplay and very little to offer in terms of missions. Even the ability to fart-jump can’t save this snowy mess.
The Presentation’s Coming Right For Us
We understand that the Xbox and PlayStation versions of Snow Day! have a better frame rate than the Switch version. But we’re also hearing that there are technical issues galore that keep it from running up to speed.
But Nintendo Switch is the worst of the bunch. A bad frame rate, coupled with glitchy details and that necessary hard reset in some spots, make this feel like an afterthought than an actual polished game. Even the cutscenes, featuring that classic South Park animation we’ve come to expect, has stutters. How can you mess up crude animation?
The environments are okay, but change very little. Here, here’s snow. Here’s a building covered in snow. Look, even more snow. You get the idea. Snow Day! seemingly gave the developers free will to just cover everything in white and focus on, um, something else? It’s okay, but really lacking in imagination.
As for the voice acting, Trey and Matt did a solid job with delivery, like always. And the other actors are game, too. The problem is the script doesn’t really give them too many shining moments like we’ve seen in other games. There are some good laugh-out-loud moments, but not nearly enough of them.
And then, the technical glitches ruin the audio as well, with “stop and start” moments that will grate on your nerves. This, coupled with the lock-ups and unpolished level design, will leave you wondering if this game could’ve used more time in the oven. Like, a lot more.
Screw You Snow, I’m Going Home
I sat here looking for so many good factors in South Park: Snow Day! Alas, the feeling is fleeting, as the overall game just feels like a letdown. Too many technical issues, not enough mission variety, online connectivity problems (for you, Dwyer!), horrible bot behavior and lacking gameplay all come together to create an experience so bad, a flu looks good by comparison.
Here’s hoping the series bounces back from this melted pile of goo.
GAMERHUB RATING: 2 (out of 5) JOYSTICKS
