Captain Wayne: Vacation Desperation Review – Avast, Me Hardies!

Here we are, in the month of December, and we’re getting some of our craziest games yet. Marvel Cosmic Invasion drops today; and Metroid Prime 4 is just mere days from release. But in the midst of all this, we’re seeing some amazing stuff on the indie front. And that includes Ciaran Games’ Captain Wayne: Vacation Desperation, which has completelyknocked us for a loop.

The game is first-person shooting giddiness, looking like a crazy hybrid of John Wick and Spongebob Squarepants. But in its own eclectic, hilarious style. You portray a shotgun-armed pirate marooned on an island with psychos, and, well, due nature takes its course as you blast them out of the water.

The game is no-frills excitement, but it does so in a terrific manner. The gameplay is nothing short of wonderful, especially with your jump kick-dash techniques. And there’s plenty of secrets to find, along with a Riptide Rampage horde mode that will keep you occupied. To top it off, the presentation is smooth, slick and utterly hilarious.

As usual with some indie releases, the big negative here is that Captain Wayne isn’t invading other platforms aside from Steam. Yet, anyway. But for now, first-person shooter fans – and anyone looking for a good time – would be a damn fool to pass up on this voyage. Also, did we mention it’s only $10 and works just fine on Steam Deck? Bargain!

Captain Wayne Is Ready To Deliver Vengeance

Why would anyone want to rip off a pirate with a shotgun for an arm? Well, that’s exactly what some fool-hardy mercenaries have done to Captain Wayne, who’s already recovering from a vampire whale that’s done him wrong. (You read that correctly. Vampire. Whale.) Anyway, he sets out for vengeance on an orca island, and he’s bringing the pain with a handgun. As in, a hand that can fire bullets. A hand gun. Literally.

The developers at Ciaran Games threw in some great gameplay quirks for Captain Wayne, and it pays off beautifully. Along with run-and-gun controls that remind us of boomer shooters of yesteryear, we should also mention the kick technique. This is ordinarily good for just kicking an enemy back. But if you’re in the air, you can also use it to fly across large gaps, and even home in on certain higher-up targets. It’s a wonderful technique that, once mastered, will have you speed-running in no time flat. Not to mention the “dolphin dive,” which is useful for reaching higher areas.

Mobility is everything, not only for survival’s sake, but also finding nifty little secrets. Ciaran has packed Captain Waynewith them, and yet we’ve only discovered a whole handful. Players will no doubt dig in and enjoy what they discover here.

Along with eight vast levels filled with enemies and mayhem, there’s more to do with the Riptide Rampage mode. Think horde mode with an amazing progression system, which keeps you coming back wave after wave. It’s incredibly fun, with the only real drawback being that you have to go at it solo. But, hey, it’s Captain Wayne, not Captain Wayne and his Fellow Seamen. (Maybe that’d make for a great sequel, though.)

Overall, the gameplay quality is excellent. It reminds us of older classics while carving out a fun niche all its own. Captain Wayne is insanely cool, and works fine on Steam Deck to boot. Now that’s something all wanna-be pirates can get behind.

How Does Captain Wayne Perform, You Ask?

As for performance in terms of presentation, Captain Wayne delivers.

The game features a very solid frame rate – around 60 to 120 FPS most of the time – and its levels are vast. You’ll be finding secrets and weapon refills like a boss, and you’ll need them given the mad enemy variety. We’re talking homing birds that like flying at you, as well as cartoony villains straight out of Dick Tracy’s playbook. And did we mention the goofy animations? They remind us of the good ol’ days of cartoons. More please.

As for the audio, it’s excellent. Along with weird and wild pirate themes (the accordion!), we also get strong voiceovers. I swear I heard Duke Nukem in there somewhere, but might’ve been a parody. They’re humorous and keep you involved with the characters. And of course, rounding them out are plenty of booms and bangs, typical for a game of this genre.

In short, you get a game that looks and sounds outstanding, and delivers just as well as other boomer shooters on the market. And the best part? It’s only $10, not a bad price at all. I just wish it was on other platforms – this would make a killing on the Switch 2. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)

Shiver Me Timbers, Captain Wayne Is a Trip Worth Taking

Unless you absolutely hate boomer shooters (or have a thing against pirates – maybe they ruined your last cruise, I dunno), Captain Wayne: Vacation Desperation is a must. It plays remarkably once you get a hang of the mechanics, and offers quite a bit even without multiplayer. On top of that, its innovative, funny presentation will win you over in seconds. And it might just have you taking accordion lessons for the new year. It’s that good.

I do hope the devs consider multi-platform release in the future, because, honestly, Captain Wayne deserves to be shared with the masses. His legacy should be as vast as Santa Claus’. That’s right, I said it. What a game.